Sunday, July 18, 2010

Dear ENV2, I hate you.

Dear My Phone,

I hate you. Sometimes, you are really nice to me. Like when my other phone fell in the bathtub, and you came to my aid just in the nick of time; turning on for me and letting me call/text the people I love. Then sometimes, you would wake me up just a little earlier than I set your alarm for, I knew it was because you realized I would be late to work again. Every once in awhile, you would ring on silent when I forgot to turn you on silent. I knew it was because you picked up on the fact that I was at work and would get in trouble if my phone went off.

But now, I've had enough of you. I was willing to overlook the fact that you would turn off randomly for no apparent reason. I was willing to forget about the beeping for no apparent reason. I was even letting the low battery life cease to frustrate me. Unfortunately, you have now made me so angry that I refuse to even look at you. You were fine last night, I was even texting with multiple friends, the battery life wasn't even bad last night! After awhile, I decided to have a night time chat with a friend for about an hour, and your battery was still kicking! I was so proud of you. After the pleasant conversations, I turned to bed for some much needed sleep and I plugged you into your charger, per usual.

After sleeping for ten hours, I woke up to the sound of birds chirping. It was a wonderful morning. I picked you up off my nightstand to check the time, and was terribly confused as to why you were turned off. No matter, I clicked your power button, you had worked so many times before. I was extremely irritated when you didn't turn on. What the fuck, ENV2?

I was prepared to give you the benefit of the doubt, though.

"The outlet probably had a power surge in the middle of the night and needs to be fixed. I will plug you into my living room wall and you will work."

But alas, phone, you did not work. After growing extremely more frustrated I tried different outlets, a power strip, an outlet in the house. You were broken. I got really mad.

The red is my badness: it's unusually high for someone of my size. This is what you did to me, Phone. No one wants to hang out with someone with such a high badness level. I am going to be unsocial for awhile because of you, which is also your fault because now I can't call people. What a coincidence. You planned it this way, didn't you?

I hate you,
Thanks for ruining my life/badness level,



  1. hahahaha... proverbial phones evil response ":-P muahahahaha... one point for me"

  2. Time to kick that phone to the curb!

  3. haha oh mer! this made me laugh..probably not you so much..but it made me laugh hahah