Dear ENV2, I hate you.

Dear My Phone,

I hate you. Sometimes, you are really nice to me. Like when my other phone fell in the bathtub, and you came to my aid just in the nick of time; turning on for me and letting me call/text the people I love. Then sometimes, you would wake me up just a little earlier than I set your alarm for, I knew it was because you realized I would be late to work again. Every once in awhile, you would ring on silent when I forgot to turn you on silent. I knew it was because you picked up on the fact that I was at work and would get in trouble if my phone went off.

Making Conversation in Public Restrooms

I really have come to no logical explanation of why this happens to me, but for awhile now I've noticed that women find it acceptable to talk to me while I am peeing. The more I think about this, the more it confuses me. I am not a very "friendly" person. That will probably be taken the wrong way. I mean that I do not go out of my way to make eye contact with people, smile at people, or talk to anyone unless I absolutely have to. When I happen to make eye contact with people, I feel like I have to give that weird ass half smile that seems to say, "this is absolutely painful to do because I have no idea who the fuck you are." (this smile never shows teeth... you KNOW what I'm talking about) Sometimes, this leads to a conversation of "How are you, today?". This could go one of two ways.